Conversations at a Pumpkin Patch

Kid: "Mom, may I PLEASE hold a chick?"

Me: "No, the sign says you can't."

Kid: "But the sign says that you can!"

Me: "Yeah. How about that. I really don't want to."

Kid: "Why? Please? Please? Please?"

Me: "If it poops on me, I'll throw up."

Kid: "You'll probably throw up anyway."

Me: "And that is a good enough reason for me to not hold a chick."
Me: "Smile! Thomas! Look normal!"
"Okay, how about you three at least look like you like each other a little? Much better. Thanks."
Kid: "But I ride the horse every year. It's tradition. I have to."
Kids: "Cheeeeeeeze."
Kid 1: "I'll take the biggest pumkin I can carry!"

Me: "Fine, you have enough money left."

Kid 2: "Me too! I want a huge one!"

Me: "Well, you spent most of your money on a pony ride. You are going to have to downsize."

Kid 2: "I should still get a big one . . . because I didn't even enjoy the pony ride that much!"

Me: "Tough beansies."

Kid 3: "I want this one!" (Picks up a small gourd from the 75 cent bin)

Me: "Sold!"
Me: "Who wants apple-cider doughnuts?"

Kids: "Meeeeeee!"

Gosh I wish I'd saved some of those doughnuts.