Things a Mom Tries Not to Think About While Her Boys are at the Father-Son Campout:

Blood, guts, getting lost in the woods, running with sticks, peeing on campfires, how late they are staying up, ticks, hatchets, pocket knives, out houses, rain, hypothermia,

Rusty old nails . . .
How much she misses their smiles . . .
Their close proximity to fire . . .
Their over-consumption of things cooked over the fire with sharp pokey sticks . . .
Their over-consumption of bacon and pancakes . . .
How they get distracted on the drive home by fancy car shows . . .
And cheese factories . . .
And how much laundry will have to be done when they get home.