The Daily Agenda of a Five Year Old Boy

7:30 am: Wake up, hug mom, argue with siblings over who gets to look at which cereal box during breakfast.

7:36am: Try to feed Cheerios from the floor to baby sisters.

7:45 am: Impede sibling's school preparation progress.

8:30 am: Stand outside in the 20 degree weather in jammies and bare feet yelling "goodbye!" and waving to your brother and sister as they head off to school. Don't stop until they are completely out of sight.

9:00 am: Brush teeth. Get blue toothpaste all over bathroom counter, sink and white hand towel. Leave toothbrush on the floor and cap off of toothpaste. Get dressed for pre-school. Make bed and shove last night's jammies in the closet, toy box or under bed. Dawdle as much as possible.

9:15 am: Watch TV while mom showers. Turning on the tube is the only way mom can guarantee the safety of little sisters while she's in the bathroom.

9:30 am: Tease sisters as much as possible. Ruffle their hair until they scream, take toys away from them, cough or sneeze in their faces. Give mom an innocent "Who.....me?" look when one of them "falls" over and cries.

10:00: Pre-school. Behave in a manner that makes your teacher consistently tell your mother what a good, sweet, well-behaved boy you are.

1:00: Come home from school and ask for cookies for lunch. Cookies denied. Waffles? Ice cream? Happy Meal? Christmas candy? Finally settle on something from a daily rotating menu of PBJ, Top Ramen, grilled cheese or over-easy eggs with toast. Only eat half of whatever is served.

1:30: Make up a song about guts or boogers.

1:35: Ask to play iPad. Be reminded that iPad time starts at 4:00.

1:37: Ask to play iPad.

1:42: Ask to play iPad.

1:47: Ask to play iPad.

1:50: Make lots of noise in an attempt to wake up baby sisters.

1:55: Complain that all your friends have afternoon kindergarten.

1:57: Ask to play iPad.

2:00: Hang on mom's arm.

2:05: Read something.

2:15: Go explore older sibling's bedrooms while they are at school.

2:30 Color something.

2:45: Ask to play iPad.

2:49: Ask to play iPad.

2:55: Eat a cookie, make sure lots of crumbs end up on the counter, barstool and floor.

2:58: Wipe chocolate fingers on sofa.

3:00: Finally succeed in making enough noise to wake baby sisters.

3:10: "Help" mom feed sisters. Do a loud silly dance behind them so they are too distracted to eat. Make sure they turn around and get food in their hair.

3:13: Ask to play iPad.

3:15: Ask if it is 4:00 yet.

3:20: Watch out the window for siblings to come home.

3:30: Yell exuberantly for at least five minutes after they get home in order to express your excitement.

3:35: Tease siblings.

3:38: Try to pick up a baby sister. Get in trouble.

3:45: Ask to play iPad.

3:50: Do gymnastics in the living room.

3:54: Argue with older sister about whether you landed your front roll on her by accident or on purpose.

3:56: Have quiet time alone. Freak out a little because it is almost 4:00.

4:00: Streak out of your room yelling that it is iPad time! Apologize to your sister.

4:01: Play iPad.

4:30: Try to convince mom that iPad time can't be over yet.

4:31: Play downstairs. Loudly.

5:05: Ask what is for dinner. Say "Ew."

5:07: Play more. Loudly.

5:10: Celebrate when dad gets home. Loudly.

5:35: Set the table. Break something. Feel bad, even though mom says it's okay, and not to worry about it.

5:45: Complain about dinner. Eat a few bites. Get out of seat. Eat a few more bites. Get out of seat. Use pants for a napkin. Eat a few bites. Run around.

6:10: Clean up own dishes. Provide moral support to siblings while they do their chores.

7:05: Get in the bath. Splash water on the floor. Stay in the tub until fingers are nice and pruney.

7:45: Do gymnastics during family scripture study. Touch sister with feet. Vehemently deny having touched sister with feet. Sing the song about guts or boogers that you made up earlier. Do a back flip off the sofa.

8:10: Try really hard to close eyes and hold still during family prayer. Have limited success in this endeavor. Give giant bear hugs to entire family. Insist that dad tuck you into bed.....not mom.

8:20: Sing guts or booger song until asleep. Make plans to do it all over again tomorrow.