Spooky

Happy Halloween from Alice the Leopard, Seth the White Ninja (his idea . . . first I tried to convince him to be The Karate Kid, but he wasn't too keen on wearing a bandana. I also really wanted him to tie a salmon-colored pillow on the back of his Tae Kwan Do uniform with green duct tape and go as sushi, but he didn't share my vision) Thomas the Fireman, Michael dressed as Mandy and Mandy Dressed as Michael!

A close up view of the kiddos, and T's mustache before he rubbed it all the way off.

Here's hoping you had a weekend as great as ours! Now I'm off to toss a few handfuls of candy in the trash.

I'm The Mom, I Do My Job

For Mother's Day I usually feel a little self- conscious about all the hoopla surrounding the fact that I do my job. The kids just get stickers when they do theirs. I get presents. Here's my take:

From Michael:
An teensey tiny I-Pod Shuffle. It will be so much better for my run than the 20 Gig brick I've been hauling around on my arm sheathed in a sweaty neoprene band.

A pancake Sunday dinner. Anytime I don't have to cook is a-okay with me.

A couple of wins at Super Mario Smash Brothers on the Wii. (He beat me a couple of times too, I guess.)
Yeah. We got a Wii last month. We just barely told the kids about it. They still haven't played it yet, but Michael and I get it out every night after they go to bed. What kind of parents are we??? Well, I guess we are the kind of parents who want their kids to know what earning $250 (the sticker price of a Wii) feels like. They've been doing jobs to fill up a 250 spot sticker chart for a few months now. It's almost full, and then Michael and I will have to share.

From Seth: Hugs, cards and an appliqued kitchen towel that he embroidered himself. With his very own two little hands. His school teacher is a saint.

From Alice: A ream of drawings illustrating how I am the "Best Mom Ever" (now my official title, feel free to call me BME for short) and two cutesy-patootsie refrigerator magnets that she made at preschool. Her school also had a mother's tea. She pulled out my chair to seat me, served my food and sang "You Are my Sunshine" with the class while I staged a valiant effort not to cry.

From Thomas: Wet crib sheets from when he disrobed in the night (sometime after I checked him at 11:00pm) and opted to take off his diaper too. A handful of pennies in the toilet. Two time-outs for hitting. Toothpaste on three doorknobs. A full bowl of applesauce on the floor. Elmo stickers on my Sunday dress. Original artwork in pencil on the handrail downstairs. Plus a hug and a card with handwriting that looked suspiciously like his father's.

All in all, I'd say it was a pretty great day. Hope your Mother's Day was as excellent as mine!

Vintage Tears

This picture of a family gathering has recently surfaced from the past, courtesy of my cousins (also pictured).

I'm the one on the right. Yes, I am crying. Since I was a perfectly angelic child, I have been searching for an explanation for my tears in this picture. I have deduced that one of the following must have happened:

a) Charity (the cousin closest to me) pinched me. She denies it, but is an impeccable actress, and the innocent look on her face could easily be feigned.

b) Someone wanted me to eat. I was a notoriously picky eater, a trait my children have inherited and torment me with daily.

c) I was extremely alarmed at the close proximity of my little brother Jordan (pictured at the far end of the table) who couldn't have been much older than three, to the river.

d) I had realized that my bangs took up half my head, and the braids on the other half of my head were too tight.

e) I may also have just been informed of the high probability that as I grew up my hair would darken from a glossy light blonde (I wanted to look like Barbie) to a mousy brown color. This is a fact I am actually now at peace with, but at the age of five (or six?) I would have found distressing.

f) The television network had just canceled Jem and I was in mourning.

g) I couldn't find my favorite cassette with Kool 'n The Gang singing Celebrate and Funky Town.

h) Somebody beat me at Space Invaders on the Atari.

Various and Sundry Tidbits

I've been tagged. I've been tagged a few times, really. I kind of have a hard time writing stuff like this about myself because I find it difficult to believe that anyone else could find it interesting, but as people keep tagging me . . . there must be some sort of a demand I suppose. So here you go:
10 Quirky things you probably didn't know about me:

1- I can't just sit and watch TV. I usually have to fold laundry, do sit-ups, aerobics, clean, or write e-mail.

2- I love the Casino episode of The Office. I've watched it like 9 times. I feel a little guilty about this, I should watch something deeper, like Citizen Kane or something. But The Office makes me happy because I used to work at a miserable office just like that!
My favorite part of The Casino episode is when Pam calls her mom because Jim has confessed his love for her. I'd probably call my mom too. I see a lot of myself in Pam, but I like to think that I have better hair. I know, I should be deeper than caring about that too, but her hair reminds me of a bad perm I had in 7th grade. Give that girl a banana clip.

3- Speaking of hair, I tried to grow mine out. I've been trying for the past six or seven months but I just can't stand it. Last week I went under the axe and it is back to its normal short self.
Before:
After:


4- I have a serious Extra sugar free gum habit. I've tried to kick it a couple of times, but it keeps me off Diet Coke and chocolate (mostly) so I always go back.

5- I like to decorate cakes.

6- My most embarrassing moment occurred when I was trying to pee off the back of a sailboat in the dark on Bear Lake. On a date. 'Nuff said.

7- I am impatient. Once I buy a gift for someone, I can hardly wait to give it to them. This is one of Michael's favorite things to tease me about.

8- I took piano lessons for seven years and still can't play . . . one of my biggest regrets.

9- I don't like the Twilight series (gasp). The first two were tolerable, entertaining enough to read for fun . . . but the third book drove me nuts. I wasn't planning to read the fourth book, but a friend brought it over (we swap books) so I skimmed it and read the end. Eh.

10- I don't like to drive, but I do like to go places. As a consummate pedestrian, it is killing me to live in a neighborhood with no sidewalks, but I still manage to put a lot of mileage on the stroller. Probably no walking tomorrow though, I stepped on one of the kid's toys earlier today and did a number (seven I think) on my foot. I'm thinking I could pull a classic Michael Scott and wrap it in bubble wrap for a cast . . . Ooh! That would be an awesome Halloween costume! Look for me as Michael Scott in a dress shirt with crutches and bubble wrap on my foot.

Cha Cha Cha, Hi-Yah!

I had a birthday. It was a big one. It was before Christmas, but then things got crazy, so here you go.
When I woke up that morning, it became apparent that Michael had been busy during the night. He had decorated. A lot. There was a skull with a sign on it that said, "Welcome to your 30s. Bwoo ha ha ha!" Okay, I added the "bwoo ha ha ha!" part myself, but the fact that the sign was on a maxillofacial practice skull pretty much said "bwoo ha ha ha!" all by itself. It was all very sweet. I think.
My girlfriends and I met up at a fun french bakery for brunch. It was mah-vellous. I loved the quiche. The girls gave me a lovely new bag that I had been eyeing.
This one. Cute, huh? I have great friends.

Girlfriends at brunch.

The decorating job.

Michael picked up the cake at the cheesecake factory. He knows me well.

I call this last picture Cha Cha Cha, Hi-Yah! because of the way Seth now sings the Happy Birthday song. Apparently in his class it is all the rage to sing it this way:
Happy Birthday to you, CHA CHA CHA
Happy Birthday to you, CHA CHA CHA
Happy Birthday dear mom, CHA CHA CHA
Happy Birthday to you, CHA CHA CHA, HIIIII- YAH!

And if you are wondering about the phone, my brother Jordan was singing on speaker phone with the rest of my fam. It was all very lovely. Almost as lovely as the professional opera singer who sang it to me with dinner at the Macaroni Grill.

And so, now I am officially 30. It doesn't feel any different. I'm just as tired as I was at 29.