There are always a few adventurous people wearing pajamas, sometimes slippers if they are extra brave. I try not to look at the overweight men spilling out of their wife-beater tank tops (it's December). And I wonder if I should break up the fourteen-year-old kids making out behind the Christmas tree display?
I marvel at the people who bring small children to the store after bedtime and then act disgusted when the kids have a tantrum. No kidding, there was a disgruntled two year old at Target last night who was freaking out because his mother would give him a toy and say, "Do you want this? Do you want Santa to bring you this? Do you?" And then she'd grab it away from him and plop it back on the shelf. There was also a five or six year old girl throwing an epic fit in the shoe section, hitting her mom and screaming. I personally have left a full shopping cart in the middle of the store and marched my kid out to the car for much, much less. It was painful to see the mom have to deal with it . . . and yet, I couldn't stop watching.
Behind me in the checkout line was a platinum blonde woman clothed entirely in skin tight denim and chatting loudly (she aspired for everyone in the store to hear) on her cell phone. Fortunately the line was long and I was able to catch much of her riveting conversation:
"It really wasn't that big of a deal. I mean, I knew he was stealing from the company . . . but I never thought it was that much. I didn't even help him with all of it. So when the judge said FIVE YEARS I was like . . . no way. I am telling you, prison changes you. You are never the same person once you come out. I mean . . . the woman across the hall from me was all depressed and suicidal and junk. I really had to reach inside myself and pull out my inner strength to make it through. It was the longest four months of my life. Thank (the man upstairs) for good behavior. I was smart. I totally played it cool in the clink."
At this point I had to check out . . . I was so bummed, because I really wanted to hear about how she played it cool in the clink.
And on the way home I wondered what the people in Target at 10:00 at night must think of me, a 30-something mom buying enough wrapping paper to keep the entire population of Japan in origami for a year. I'm telling you, there are some real oddballs out there.
