Thanks

Soapbox

Whatever happened to orange slices and water being served for snacks at soccer games? When did Hostess snack pies and a box of chocolate milk turn into a good reinforcer for being athletic?

Am I the weirdo mom for handing out baggies of grapes and low-fat granola bars when it is my turn to do snack?

And I'm sorry, but if you go to Target wearing a red shirt and khaki pants I'm going to assume you work there. Don't get huffy when I ask you where the hand sanitizer is. (Plus, you knew where it was, you were standing right next to it.)

Why do I get nickeled and dimed up to $300 every time school starts back up again? School pictures! Join the PTA! Instrument rental! Class party fee! Special shoes just for PE so the gym floor stays tidy!

Why haven't I put first day of school pictures up yet? The kids went back a week ago!

Is it SO impossible for car dealerships to be a little bit honest? After haggling for three hours over the Odyssey (henceforth dubbed the Oddity) we bought last month, the guy assured me that it had just had all it's routine maintenance done and was completely "up to date." Oh yeah? Why did I just have to drop $300 on brake pads, rotors, a transmission flush and oil change? And not a one of those things covered by the warranty.

Okay, I feel better now. Thanks.

Ire

I maybe lost my temper today. At 7:37 pm, perhaps.

It wasn't when I was cooking dinner and the aluminum foil sprang out of the box of its own free will and unrolled itself carpet-like across the kitchen floor. I held it together.

It wasn't when I asked a certain child to clean up blocks he'd spread across the living room floor and he said "okay", chucked one block in the box and wandered off to empty the bin of Lincoln Logs. Nope, I held it together.

I didn't lose it while listening to an tremendously epic argument of "Nuh-uh," "U-huh," "Nuh-uh." I just sent them downstairs to finish the dispute out of my earshot.

I was slightly irritated that my well-planned and perfectly executed dinner of Mustard-Seed Pork with Potato-Asparagus salad was poorly received by the punks, and Michael (who I actually cooked the meal for) didn't arrive home until an hour and a half after it was pulled from the oven. Still . . . held it together.

Family Home Evening was the standard circus of wandering children, some jostling for position closest to Dad on the couch and elbows in ribs. Actually, Family Home Evening went unusually well.

No, I really only lost it when I asked my eldest darling to go shower and get ready for bed, then found him 15 minutes later dawdling around in his room, un-showered and unprepared . . . and a little sassy when I called him on it. I may have told him to "Get his butt into the bathroom before I spank it." (Hollow threat, people . . . . hollow threat. And I usually save butt with two t's for when I'm good and mad. It's one of those words that doesn't sound nice coming out of a child's mouth, so I try not to say it, lest they repeat it.)

And I may have UN-lost my temper when I found him seconds later with his body in the hallway and his wiggling hiney sticking into the bathroom hokey-pokey style. "Kay Mom! My butt is in the bathroom!"

How can you not laugh at that?

Dreaming . . .

We need a bigger table. If we add one guest, ours is full . . . and frankly, what's the fun in only having one guest? I became especially self-conscious last week when two of our guests insisted that they were perfectly comfortable sitting on the floor while they ate. I protested, but was hardly in the position to give up my seat as I was perched on top of our vintage school desk next to Redhead the fish.

Images unscrupulously lifted from Craigslist

So I have been browsing (in an extremely non-committal window-shopping type way) Craigslist to see if an affordable upgrade appears. And I have been reminded of my love for the old-school retro style dining sets. I fell for these back in the days when Everybody Loves Raymond was on the tube, and everyone would gather around Frank and Marie's powder blue chrome and vinyl dinette set for lasagna.

I personally think these sets should make their way back into mass production. The vinyl seats would be a cinch to clean with the kids, and I wouldn't have to freak out about about water rings being left on the formica table top.

Some problems with my dream . . . while extremely affordable, the vintage tables are nearly impossible to find in a size bigger than 62 inches. Also, some of the color combinations can make the sets look a little kitschy (there are a lot of cherry red reproduction sets that I am not interested in). The gray, pale blue and light yellow sets are little more to my taste right now. And lastly, my husband thinks I'm insane for coveting something from our grandparent's era. Am I?

I've found this reproduction company that would charge me only a little more than I could get by selling my left kidney on the black market for a custom family size table.

Sigh.

Craigslist again

Image lifted from Apartment Therapy

Mount St. Helens Road Trip

We have one patient Grandma.  Granny Janny also specializes in rocking crying babies, diffusing toddler tantrums, teaching the kidlets songs, and laughing at stale knock-knock jokes.
It isn't often we get a picture with everyone's face looking in the direction of the camera,  This one might be a Christmas card contender.  Plus it was taken before Halloween so you can't see the five extra pounds I've gained snitching chocolate from the trick-or-treat loot.  Definitely a contender.

Michael's dad brought all his photography gear with him.  Michael was in techie heaven trying all the different lenses and equipment on our DSLR.  Michael and his dad both came away with some impressive shots (to be shown in another post).  

He also likes playing with the super-zoom lenses because he can take pictures of my rear end without me knowing it.  Men.
Hiking Johnston ridge with T.  I have to keep him on my shoulders because he will seize any opportunity to perfect his disappearing act.
All the kids became Junior Rangers at the Johnston Ridge Visitor's center.  They got badges, real seismograph readings from the quake monitor, wildlife photo cards and certificates.  The ranger also made the kids promise to eat their vegetables when he swore them in.  I've been reminding them of it all week at dinnertime.